3. Build A Life You Truly Want


The third step is to start building a life you truly want.

It means:

  1. find out what you truly want
  2. pick one thing and go after it right away.

If you've been married for many years, you have an identity associated with it.

You're this person's wife. You have the same group of friends. You have kids together. You go to the same restaurants. You watch the same TV shows.

When we step out of this identity, we feel confused and lost.

Who am I without this person? What do I really want?

If you know the answers, leaving won't be half as scary as it feels right now.

A breakup can be a great opportunity to take your identity back, as you no longer have to accommodate and compromise.

You can redecide who you want to be, and what kind of life you truly want.

Then you pick one goal and start taking actions to achieve it.

When you live from your future, when your vision defines your actions, it gives you power, it gives you purpose. You'll be proud of yourself.

It takes your mind away from your past and the heartbreak.